


I'm (not) Alright

by Drakojana



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Panic Attacks, Stockholm Syndrome, angst tho, dark is the bad boyfriend, toxic as hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-05-26
Packaged: 2018-11-05 07:39:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11008944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/Drakojana
Summary: All Mark can do is listen.





	I'm (not) Alright

**Author's Note:**

> Somebody has to play the role of a shitty boyfriend. I chose Dark.

Mark hears his phone ring in the living room. He's outside playing with Chica, so the call ends before he manages to pick up. Before calling back, he looks at the caller's name.

_Jack_

He smiles, seeing as his good friend wants to talk to him. Mark dials the number and hears three long beeps before the other picks up.

Something's wrong. He can tell instantly, as all he can hear at first is shaky breathing and what seems to be sobs.

"Jack?" He asks, unsure. "Are you okay?"

What a stupid question. Of course he's not okay. The other replies with a silence, sometimes interrupted by sniffing.

"Jack, tell me what's wrong."

"… O-oh. Mark? S-sorry, I didn't mean to call you…" The Irishman responds, though doesn't hang up. The call continues with neither saying anything for a couple of seconds.

"Jack, please. What happened?"

"… Nothing. D-don't worry about it." Jack's voice is so broken it hurts to listen. "I'll be fine."

"Please, don't lie to me. You're crying." Mark knows he can't let it go. One wrong word and the other will flee from the conversation. "Is it about… Dark?"

The silence is the most assuring answer he could receive. _Dark_. Mark and Jack have agreed to call the Irishman's boyfriend like that so that whenever something's wrong they can talk about him without causing the other's suspicion. Of course, Mark could just use his real name but he never knows whether he's near Jack or not at the moment, so it's better to just use the nickname to keep him safe.

"Is he angry with you again?"

"Y-yes." Jack sounds like he's choking on his tears. "Mark, he's not talking to me…"

"Try not to let it get to you too much." The American says and thinks he should've bitten his tongue instead. What a stupid thing to say. Every time the other calls him in need, he repeats the same useless piece of advice. "I mean-"

He can't fix the mistake, though. Jack is faster to speak up.

"He yelled at me because I forgot to pick something up from the shop. I… I'm a really useless piece of shit, aren't I?"

There's a nervous chuckle at the end of that sentence and it makes Mark grit his teeth. Why does Jack still try to cover his fears with that fake laughter?

"No, you're not. He should stop-"

There's more, it seems.

"I always forget to do the simplest things he asks for. Just like the last week, when I broke one of his favourite cups and didn't buy a new one… O-or two months ago, when I-"

"Jack, stop." Mark has to interrupt his friend. He's heard those stories. Thousands of times. And every time a new one joins the litany. "Dark has no reason to get this upset. He has some serious anger issues."

"N-no, he doesn't. I-I deserve it."

"You don't!" Mark shouts out. That makes Jack shut up for a minute. Not in a good way. The sobbing is back. "Jack, please. Listen to me."

There's a sniff. He guesses the Irishman nodded to himself, he tends to do that during any kind of conversation to inform the speaker he's listening.

"You're a wonderful person that doesn't deserve such treatment. Who cares if you forgot about something, or accidentally broke a cup? Everyone makes those kinds of mistakes!"

"I make them way too often…" Jack mumbles.

"You don't. Trust me, I constantly break stuff! And you don't see me getting upset over every little thing! So you shouldn't care about it either."

Oh no. He's done it again. Comparing the other to himself is the second worst thing that could leave his mouth in this conversation.

"But I'm not you, okay?!" Jack bursts out. Anger and sadness turn into frustration and betrayal. "I just can't! Not! Give a fuck! I'm fucking pathetic for crying like that, I know! I should just go and die, I'm worthless anyway."

"Stop saying that!" Mark can't stop himself, he raises his voice as well. "It's Dark who's a piece of shit here, not you! He makes you feel bad on purpose!"

"… Why would he do that?" Jack's voice turns defensive. It's just another obstacle Mark is forced to overcome every time they talk about his problems. "H-he loves me, he cares for me."

"Then why does he yell at you so much? Jack, just ask yourself. He knows what his mood changes do to you."

"H-he'd never… I-it's not like that. I'm sure."

"Jack…" Mark lets out an irritated sigh.

"… I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called."

There's a sudden change in his voice. It's not so tearful anymore.

"You don't have to apologise. I'm always here to listen-"

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't bother you with my silly problems."

"Jack, don't-"

"Y-you have your own life to take care of. I'm just gonna go."

"Sean!"

But nobody's on the other side anymore. The beeping informs Mark that the call has ended. He throws the device aside and goes back outside before his anger takes the better of him and makes him smash something.

* * *

Mark calls him the next day and Jack picks his phone up, talking as if nothing happened. That's just the way it always is. And the American can't change it, no matter how much he presses the other and asks for him to open up.

For the next two months, everything seems to be alright. Mark and Jack talk occasionally, and the Irishman is usually in the good mood. He jokes, laughs, smiles and it's all genuine. So the American feels happy for him as well.

Until one day, just as he's about to go to sleep, there's a loud ping coming out from his phone. A message.

 **[23:11] Jackaboy:** great

 **[23:11] Jackaboy:** im cryign again

His heart aches a bit as he reads the texts. He thinks about a good reply.

 **[23:13] Markiplier:** What happened??

_Jackaboy is typing…_

Mark stares at the three dots that bounce, and it takes too long. Then, it stops. Jack isn't doing anything for a few minutes. Finally, the American gets a new message.

 **[23:21] Jackaboy:** i fucked up i fucked up i fukced yp hes not picking up what do i do mark

 **[23:22] Jackaboy:** its imprtant i need him to answer why isnt hr sswering

 **[23:22] Markiplier:** Jack calm down please

Mark can't tell which conversations are worse during Jack's anxiety attacks. During the calls, he can at least tell the other one's mood. In texts, all he can do is estimate how stressed the Irishman is based purely on a number of typos and lack of any emojis.

 **[23:23] Jackaboy:** mark itsb een 10 minutes why isnt he callign back

 **[23:23] Markiplier:** Maybe he's busy idk its gonna be fine dont worry

_Jackaboy is typing…_

Another long pause. It's like Jack writes an essay every single time. Mark puts his phone down when he doesn't get any sort of reply for ten minutes. After fifteen he closes his eyes. When twenty minutes pass he finally hears another sound. He picks the device up once more, and there's a long message waiting for him to be read. He scrolls up to start reading because all he notices are a couple of "sorry's" at the end but before he can do that, it all just… disappears. Jack types again until he sends something else.

 **[23:48] Jackaboy:** Im so fcking sorry

 **[23:49] Jackaboy** : i didnt mean to break down like that on you

 **[23:49] Markiplier:** Jack it's alright I'm here for you.

He feels a bit annoyed that the other didn't let him even read the long message so he decides to show him just how serious he is about helping his friend. Even if it's just proper grammar and punctuation.

 **[23:49] Jackaboy:** its fine he called back

 **[23:50] Jackaboy** : i forgot he was meeting with some friends

 **[23:50] Jackaboy** : i panicked like an idiot

 **[23:50] Jackaboy** : and you were probably sleeping

 **[23:50] Jackaboy:** sorry it wont happen again

Mark knows that Jack doesn't mean to lie, yet he's sure it _will_ happen again. Because the Irishman always promises that he won't let his breakdowns show. And Mark doesn't want him to hide them.

 **[23:51] Markiplier:** What about the thing you wanted to ask him about?

 **[23:52] Jackaboy:** never mind that it doesnt matter anymore

 **[23:52] Markiplier:** You said it was important.

 **[23:53] Jackaboy:** ye i can ask him tomorrow

 **[23:53] Jackaboy** : goodnight

And just like that, Mark gets cut off. Jack goes offline before he can finish typing up his own message. He sends it nonetheless.

 **[23:54] Markiplier:** Sean I just want you to think about how much control he has over your life.

* * *

They don't talk for a week afterwards. Well, it's not like Mark isn't trying to. He sends Jack a couple of funny photos and messages asking how he is. All he ever gets in response is a simple 'read at'. But after ten days he's fed up with being ignored like that, so he calls the Irishman.

"H-hello?"

Mark feels his blood boil. Jack's voice is small and brittle again.

"What did he do this time?"

He hears the Irishman swallow nervously.

"N-nothing."

"Jack, you're crying, I can hear that. What did that bastard do?"

There's some background noise coming from the speaker, a loud thud. Then, a deep voice in the distance.

"Who is that?"

Mark recognises it - it's Dark's. He listens as Jack takes a deep breath and answers. His voice gets quieter, he's most likely turned his head away from the phone.

"Mark."

"What does he want?"

Jack speaks louder, back to the device's microphone.

"Is something the matter?"

"Can you even talk right now? Just tell me if you're alright."

"I'm… fine."

The lie is so evident it hurts.

"Hang up. He can wait." Dark sounds different than Mark can remember. Maybe because he's never heard him get angry.

"Jack, what's happening?"

"Sorry, Mark. I gotta… go."

 The call ends but the American still holds the phone by his ear. He can't focus on anything, just staring at one spot.

"God, please be alright…"

* * *

 **[15:34] Markiplier:** Why don't you just break up with him?

Mark isn't sure himself why he sends the message. But that question has been on his head for as long as he can remember Jack dating Dark. Because the Irishman's boyfriend has always been like this. Manipulative. Abusive. Toxic. And yet the other stays with him, refusing to let go.

 **[15:36] Markiplier:** I don't want to sound like a jerk, I promise. But… Please, Jack. Leave him for your own sake.

He leaves the texts there, hoping he can get some kind of an answer quick. But seeing as the Irishman has been avoiding contact lately, his wishes seem empty.

But an hour passes and he gets a response. It's not what he's expected.

 **[16:28] Jackaboy:** What Sean does is none of your business.

Dark is the one that replies. Mark growls, seeing as he doesn't even care about respecting his boyfriend's privacy.

 **[16:30] Markiplier:** Those messages are meant for Jack.

 **[16:31] Jackaboy:** Maybe it's you who should leave him alone.

 **[16:31] Markiplier:** Give him back his phone.

 **[16:32] Jackaboy:** Don't tell me what to do. And he gave it to me anyway.

_Jackaboy is typing…_

Mark takes a mental note to punch Dark if he ever sees him. He wants to beat him up so bad. He wants to think of some witty response that can shut him up or make him think. But nothing good comes to his mind. He stares at the screen and a new message pops up.

 **[16:34] Jackaboy:** People like you just have a bad influence on him. I won't let you hurt Sean.

 **[16:35] Markiplier:** Thats such bullshit you motherfucker how dare you say that

Maybe Mark shouldn't let his anger take over but that one text makes him want to yell in fury. He starts typing more messages, each one with more and more insults. But they don't send. Every single one of them gets lost in the endless cycle of loading.

It takes him five minutes to realise what's happened.

Jack has blocked him. No, _Dark_ has blocked him.

Mark rushes to call him, not bothering to think that it's futile if Dark still has the phone. He listens to the prolonged beeps for a minute, before the speaker's silent. Of course, nobody is picking up. But that doesn't stop Mark. He calls again. And again. Every time with the same result.

* * *

Facebook pictures and posts are the only things informing Mark that Jack is still alive. Because any contact between them ceased to exist, all thanks to Dark. He sees the game the other's playing. All those photos aren't actually posted by Jack. Every single one of them is a couple photo, the Irishman and his boyfriend.

Mark looks through all the pictures, taking the time to carefully study Jack's expressions. He's always smiling, always laughing. The American stares at the blue eyes, searching for any sort of a clue about the other's real feelings. But no matter how much he tries, Jack is always… happy.

Three weeks pass. Mark feels like he's going to forget how Jack's voice sounds like at this rate. He misses him so much, it hurts every single day. He can't get the thoughts about him out of his head. But there's nothing he can do. Because Jack is out there, in Europe, whereas Mark is stuck in the USA.

Then, one day, there's an unexpected guest at his door. Someone rings the doorbell impatiently a couple of times.

"Coming!" Mark shouts, putting on pants in hurry. It's 11 A.M. so technically it still counts as morning to him.

As he opens the door, he can't even stutter out a simple "hello". A familiar figure nearly jumps at him, hugging him tightly.

"You were right, I'm so sorry…"

"Jack…"

Mark returns the embrace, feeling tears sting the corners of his eyes.

"I had to run away. Somewhere. S-sorry, I just…"

Jack's voice is so broken, it's thick with hundreds of emotions. He buries his face in the American's chest, hiding his true expression from the other's gaze.

"It's alright. It's all right, Sean."

"I-I don't even… I don't even have my phone. J-just…"

Mark now notices a small white bag lying next to Jack's feet.

"You're safe now. It's all that matters."

He feels how the Irishman's whole body shakes. He doesn't say anything, though. This time, he's going to let him cry as much as he wants. Because that's what he deserves.

Safety. Freedom.

Happiness.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably as personal as I'll ever get. Writing this down in a form of a fanfiction... Was probably the worst or best idea I've ever had.  
> The only difference is that some people don't get happy endings. But it's for you guys. Not me.


End file.
